She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
