Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
