Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Come share oat with me in your robe
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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