the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
