do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
