I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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