Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
