I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
