Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
