I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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