Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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