So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You've changed since you got that strap on
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
