I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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