We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
