I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
