I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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