I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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