So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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