Say something about gay babies.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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