She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize