Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
