Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
