areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
