Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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