chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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