all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
