I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
