just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
