I need help removing her.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
