You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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