The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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