If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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