Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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