You really coming over, don't trick.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I will be naked everywhere
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
