dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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