I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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