12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
