In the future we'll all be gay
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
