he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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