i jhust puked up my retainher.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
