how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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