apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
