where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
