He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
