There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
