What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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