bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
