You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
