yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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