i think i have two assholes
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
