literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
