who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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