Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
