whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
People in love make me want to vomit
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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