My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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