the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
