you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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