So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
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