remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
oh god the rape fog is back!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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