well you can't waste a boner
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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