ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
